


Apotelesma

by omiluvr



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance, but also angst, goodluck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:27:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26026432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omiluvr/pseuds/omiluvr
Summary: When the stars finally give Hisoka the happiness that he deserves but he himself has to leave that happiness behind.
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	Apotelesma

**Author's Note:**

> aha enjoy !! this is for the h word for adult trio gdm in my anitwt owo hope yall enjoy this !! 
> 
> anitwt: @osamuluvr

**Hisoka didn't know what to do** when it came to Illumi. He didn't know how to approach the man across the bar who was drinking alone. He was looking outside, taking in the beautiful stars of the night and when you look at him, it seemed like he was quiet in his own little world, something completely opposite to the loud chatter of the bar.

The man is gorgeous, long hair that reached until the end of his back, his slender body leaning slightly against the barstool as he rested his head on his hand. He seemed bored, Hisoka would think that maybe he would want to get laid but the sophisticated nature around the man didn't feel so.

Hisoka finally got himself two classes of bourbon for himself and the man and took a deep breath. He calmed himself which was weird. Hisoka was the type of person who was confident in these choices. Be it in everyday life, in sex, in approaching a man, everything! But this man-made him nervous and the fact that he interested him made him even more if it was possible.

"Maybe if you stop staring and actually gave me a drink, you know?" A voice interrupted his train of thought. A smooth, silky, and a voice music to his ears snapped him out of his thought. It belonged to the man that he interested in.

"Oh? How would you know that it's for you?" Hisoka said as he walked towards the barstool and gave one drink to the male then sat beside him.

"If it wasn't then you wouldn't have sat beside me and gave me the drink right?" The man said and smiled softly when Hisoka showed a look of surprise. "And who do I owe the pleasure of watching the stars with me?"

"Does it even count watching the stars when it's on a barstool? Unlike most people's vision of a stargaze?" Hisoka asked and the man chuckled.

"Anywhere under the stars is stargazing." The man said and smiled. "I'm Illumi, Illumi Zoldyck."

"Hisoka Morow, the man pleasured to watch the stars with you." Hisoka replied and the man continued to watch the stars.

"Then, you better be ready for more then."

**Hisoka didn't know what to do** from that moment on. He didn't know what to say because Illumi talked as if they were going to spend the rest of their lives together, but boy was he right.

Hisoka spent the entire night with Illumi. They left the bar and ran to the nearest park just to watch the stars a bit more clearly. They got more cans of beers and had a great time under the stars, sharing their interests and their lives as if it was the right thing to even do with a stranger you met at the bar.

Of course, Hisoka as well didn't know what to do when he finds himself kissing Illumi, the stranger he met at the bar just an hour ago at the park bench, under the stars that they promised to watch more of.

**Hisoka didn't know what to do** when Illumi flashed him a smile as they pulled apart from the kiss. Hisoka just sat there, a can of beer on his hand but smiled back. Not the smile that he usually displays out in public but the smile that he hasn't even done yet. A smile of sincerity and love at this point.

Hisoka was a hunter while Illumi was an assassin. Hisoka wasn't even sure if you could call him a hunter since he just goes off and fight the people that he wanted to defeat. He had to admit that Illumi was a great man to fight against but he preferred to actually have someone else to fight. Why?

Because he's falling in love with the man.

**Hisoka didn't know what to do** with his feelings at this point. Was he going to tell the man that has been in his interest that he's in love with him? Or just let himself keep his feelings and be satisfied with the numerous stargazes that they have after their missions?

It doesn't help when Illumi the man that didn't even believe in friendship considered being friends with the red-haired man. The man would call him and tell him a place, a place where they would watch the stars once again while drinking some beers and just talking about their lives.

They worked separately and almost never together but Hisoka could never have wanted more when all he would look forward is a simple text message of a place and as well as another message to bring more beer than usual whenever Illumi just wanted to release more stress than usual.

Hisoka would bring more than what he asked because he wanted Illumi to feel that being with Hisoka was safe and nothing to be afraid of. Illumi already thinks that. With the simple stargazing and the rare meetups that Hisoka looks forward almost every time, it's enough for him.

"Hey Hisoka, if you ever got a chance to change anything in your life, what would it be?" Illumi asked him one night.

"Hm? Why would you ask that all of a sudden?" Hisoka said as he opened another can of beer and handed it to Illumi who thanked him.

"I mean, I'm sure despite being satisfied with this life you have, you want to change something about it." Illumi said as drank his can of beer.

"I don't really know if there is one but I'm sure one will come up eventually." Hisoka said as he laid back onto the grassy knoll.

"Then, tell me if you got one in mind alright?" Illumi said and Hisoka just looked at him then chuckled.

"But tell me yours first." Hisoka pointed out and Illumi just smiled.

"I'll tell you when you tell me yours, alright?" Illumi answered then Hisoka laughed at him.

"Alright then."

That was the first promise that they had after promising to have star gazing together. Going home after that event, he couldn't sleep with the question buried deep into his mind.

What would that change be? Hisoka would think to himself as the stars would silently shine at him at the corner of his window. He sat up and walked to his window, grabbing a chair as he did and sat in front of his window. He leaned on his window sill and simply watched the stars from where he was.

Watching the stars by himself felt so lonely to him and he wished to never watch the stars by himself.

He would only watch the stars with Illumi.

Hisoka was a fighter, he would fight through almost anything just to get his way. But in this bond between him and Illumi was something he couldn't do especially he didn't want to lose the man he came to love just because he was someone that Hisoka always found intriguing.

He remembered almost two years into their friendship, Hisoka and Illumi went to the same park bench to once again stargaze and drink beers once again.

"Ah, two years into our friendship and it's like only yesterday when you were bringing me a drink." Illumi said as he raised his can of beer to which Hisoka followed suit.

"To us." Hisoka said and Illumi wrinkled his nose at that.

"You're so boring, Hisoka." Illumi complained.

"Me? Then what should we toast to?" Hisoka said as he looked at Illumi who smiled.

"To the stars." Illumi said and Hisoka rolled his eyes. "Hey! It's the reason why we got together in the first place." Illumi pointed out and Hisoka leaned back, his hand supporting his weight as he stared at Illumi.

"Got together?" Hisoka asked and Illumi nod. "You shouldn't say something so dangerous to me, Illumi."

"You're acting as if the kiss on the night we met didn't happen." Hisoka hated it, he hated the fact that Illumi acted like he had all control over him to which he did. Illumi, someone that he just met just because he looked so pretty and interesting was taking control over his life to the point of insanity. Hisoka didn't know what to do except for,

Kissing Illumi again.

Illumi put down his drink as he wrapped his arms around Hisoka's neck while Hisoka wrapped his arms around Illumi's waist.

Both of them knew what the other was feeling with that one kiss that was nothing like the first one they shared.

This kiss was different, it was mutual, it was knowing and it wasn't done at the moment but it felt like it waited for 2 years to the point of feeling like the best feeling that both of them could feel at the moment.

Illumi pulled out of the kiss and smiled at Hisoka. "To the stars that got us together."

Hisoka then buried his face on Illumi's neck to which the other responded with wrapped his arms around Hisoka's head as if to hug him.

"To the stars that gave you to me."

**Hisoka didn't know what to do** when that night and the following as well, he has Illumi cuddled up against his chest with a contented smile on his face. Hisoka just simply smiled when Illumi would snuggle further because he is sensitive to the cold. Hisoka would most likely just fix his position and full-on hug the man beside him to which the other would respond with a light smile.

All these happiness and love that the two men have for the next 12 months were the happiest Hisoka has been. But he knows, it will end soon.

**Hisoka didn't know what to do** when he finally faces the boss in front of him, Chrollo Lucilfer.

"What do you want, Chrollo?" Hisoka asked and he simply closed his book and looked at the man in front of him as he crossed his legs.

"The man you have been seeing," Chrollo started then he played with the dagger that he dealt in hand. "How was it?"

"Are you talking about my relationship with him or the fact that you sent me to kill him almost 3 years ago but I haven't?" Hisoka snapped only for Chrollo to chuckle and stand up.

"So you are aware of what I'm thinking." Chrollo said and sat at the edge of his table. "I'm letting you do this because I know you'll kill him at some point but don't you think 3 years is too long?" Chrollo smirked.

"Leave it to me, Chrollo. I have to figure things out." Hisoka said and Chrollo scoffed.

"Figure things out? How will you figure things out when killing Illumi Zoldyck is the only way to figure things out?" Chrollo pointed out and Hisoka clicked his tongue.

"Fuck off Chrollo." Hisoka simply said as he left Chrollo's office and went to the place that Illumi and he would be meeting into another stargaze.

"Hi." Illumi greeted with a smile on his face while Hisoka greeted with a kiss on the lips.

"Hello." Hisoka said as he sat down and laid on Illumi's lap. "Sorry, I'm late. Work got too much and I had to finish everything today."

"No, it's fine." Illumi simply said as he thread his fingers through Hisoka's hair who simply hummed in satisfaction. "Just relax now that you're here, I'm here don't worry." Illumi continued and Hisoka sighed.

"What would I really do without you?" Hisoka mumbled and Illumi chuckled as he placed a kiss on Hisoka's lips.

"I don't know with you but you'll eventually know somewhere along the road." Illumi said and Hisoka opened one of his eyes.

"Is this foreshadowing that you're gonna leave me soon?" Hisoka said, trying to be calm about the situation.

"Everything has a good and bad road ahead of us, it's only fair if we think about what will happen if the bad is the route we choose." Illumi said as he brushed his thumb on Hisoka's forehead.

"Are you going to the bad route?" Hisoka asked and Illumi chuckled.

"Anywhere with you is fine." Illumi said and Hisoka sat up, looking at the man in front of him.

"Well then, since anywhere is fine with you," Hisoka stood up and knelt in front of his lover. "Will you marry me then?" Hisoka said and Illumi laughed.

"Where's my ring then?" He said with a small smile.

"Do you want one?" Hisoka said with a grin on his face.

Illumi grinned as he wrapped his arms around Hisoka's neck and chuckled. "No actually. As long as I got you, I'll do anything under these stars." He said. "So yes, I will marry you."

Hisoka's face has this happy grin on it so he wrapped his arms around Illumi who laughed in glee too.

**Hisoka didn't know what to do** when he has to face the stars again after this promise knowing he only did it out of a whim to escape the fact that he had to kill Illumi, his love. He couldn't help but hate himself knowing that every single moment under the stars with Illumi was done out of pure love but for him, he was scared.

How was he going to escape this now? Yeah, he should be happy with him being engaged to the one he loves but just the thought of it happening doesn't sit right with Hisoka.

They got rings and just got a marriage certificate without a fancy wedding needed. No one needed to know that they were in love, all that mattered is that they have each other, and the stars that brought them together.

5 months have passed ever since they got married and Hisoka received a warning from Chrollo through Illumi.

"Hey, why were you late? You never finish your missions this late?" Hisoka asked as he sat beside Illumi who sighed as he flopped onto their shared bed.

"Someone tried to kill me after finishing the mission so it was kinda hard to go and just leave when in all directions I could sense someone." Illumi said as he snuggled into the blankets then feel asleep.

The next day, Hisoka can be heard bursting into Chrollo's office.

"What I have with Illumi is my business and my mission is my mission only. You don't have the right to butt into my mission just like that!" Hisoka yelled and Chrollo chuckled.

"Make it work then." Chrollo said and left his own office, leaving Hisoka frustrated inside the room he hated the most.

Hisoka didn't know what to do especially knowing that Chrollo was getting impatient and he didn't know what to do but there is only one thing left to do, but he didn't want to do it.

As he left the headquarters, he got a text from Illumi to meet him on the park bench once again so he headed there.

"Hi, love." Hisoka said and Illumi just hummed in satisfaction once he has his lips were placed on Hisoka's. "How are you?"

"We just met today and you're asking again?" Illumi said and leaned against Hisoka. "But sure. My day was fine, I guess." Illumi simply said and smiled at Hisoka who smiled back at him.

"That's good." Hisoka said and they stayed silent as they watched the sky be filled with the stars that they always watched.

"You never told me what you would change if you had a chance." Illumi said and Hisoka chuckled.

"There's no need, I got you by my side and I'm happy." Hisoka said and Illumi simply smiled as he brushed his thumb against the cold metal of the beer can.

"Me too." Illumi said and looked at Hisoka. "I never regretted meeting you, Hisoka." Illumi said and Hisoka pulled the man closer.

"Me too, love."

That night, Hisoka tucked Illumi to sleep and he spent the entire night sitting on the same chair and spot where he watched the stars by himself for the first time.

"Illumi, I'm so sorry." Hisoka said as he had his head in his hands.

He got up, left a note that he got called to work early in the morning then left. He walked everywhere to get his mind off of that certain thought that haunted him. He went everywhere that he can remember spending time with Illumi. But the thing is, he never forgot a place and that made his heart clench.

He spent the entire evening and the wee hours of the morning outside. He just didn't want to see Illumi when killing him was everything he could think of. Illumi was the love of his life and having to kill your own lover with nothing to do about it struck a chord inside Hisoka.

Hisoka didn't know what to do, anything regarding Illumi, he never knew what to do with him or about him. And that's the most beautiful thing about both of them.

Where choices were not planned ahead of time just because they wanted to be sure, they did choices on the whim because they love each other and that's the most important thing there is.

It was currently 4 in the morning so he decided that he was tired and finally went back home.

But when he got home.

"Illumi!"

Illumi was sprawled on the floor, bloodied on his arms and unconscious but Hisoka's scream woke him up to which he smiled at.

**Hisoka didn't know what to do** , especially when the cold hand of his lover is pressed against his cheek, bloodied but the smile on Illumi's face was something he couldn't forget especially when the smile was filled with so much love in the world for the red-haired man.

"Illumi, why did you do this?" Hisoka's voice was trembling, and tears were already spilling from his eyes.

"I always knew." Illumi simply said and Hisoka cried.

In the 4 to 5 years that they have spent their lives together, Illumi knew about Hisoka's plan.

"You, are from the spiders. I knew from the first place but I still fell in love with you." Illumi said and brushed his thumb onto the cheek of his lover. "I'd do anything for you Hisoka." Illumi plainly said and Hisoka sobbed.

"No no no, we can find a way! I can leave the spiders and---" He was cut off by Illumi and shook his head.

"You have too much information at hand for them to let you go alive. I'm an assassin, Hisoka. I knew being killed was something I had to face early." Illumi said. "Can you do me a favor, love?"

Hisoka nod and Illumi smiled. "Let's go to the rooftop, and watch the stars once last time."

Hisoka carried Illumi to the rooftop and saw the many stars in the sky. He set Illumi down and he sat down beside Illumi and placed his head on his lap.

"The stars are beautiful, don't you think?" Illumi started and Hisoka simply nod.

He didn't know what to do from this point onwards honestly. Illumi was the reason of Hisoka's choices, in their relationship, yes but for someone like Hisoka to suddenly face the world without someone to actually support someone and smile at him was scary for him.

"Hisoka." Illumi started and chuckled but turned into a cough. "You are and always will be the reason why I came to love the stars." He said and sighed.

Hisoka didn't say anything in response to that and it seemed like Illumi respected that.

They spent the next hour watching the stars silently and when the sun has finally risen, Illumi's breath came to a stop and that was the final straw.

Hisoka grabbed Illumi's now cold hand and kisses it with his trembling lips.

**Hisoka now knows what to do.** Even though he knows, he still knew that it would be impossible to even happen but he has to face it anyway. 

If Hisoka had a chance to change something in this lifetime, he would change the fact that he didn't have to kill Illumi in the first place and would meet Illumi without that intention.

Because now, he has to watch the stars alone.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed owo 
> 
> anitwt: @osamuluvr


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